Attraction between men and women is not as mysterious as it seems, it’s mostly based on each sex’s primal instincts:
For men, physical attraction can be summed up in 3 words: MEN ARE VISUAL.
It’s all about how the male brain is hardwired to respond to physical female beauty with an intense physical attraction…
… and that was the chapter about how men’s attraction works :-)
So how does attraction work for women? That’s a whole different story, which includes a man’s status (regardless of the specific woman) and a man’s behavior (with a specific woman):
Your status is what you already have at the point of meeting your girl, that can define your success as a man and can impact your self confidence.
Achieving high status actually fulfills some very deep needs any man has like the need to protect and provide, to be the leader of the pack, to compete with other men and to achieve goals:
- Social status – What influential people you know and who knows you, whether you belong to any exclusive club or have any special hobby, which events you’re invited to, how popular you are, etc. Back when you were a real caveman, with a real cave, the more powerful you were within your tribe the better were your chances to survive. Your power within your social circles is connected to your instincts to lead and compete.
- Financial status – The financial assets you own represent your financial success and worth as a provider. Your financial ability affects the way you can pursue your woman and the life quality you can provide for your future family. Being able to provide is an important need of any man that impacts his self esteem.
- Professional status – Your education and profession, any great achievements you’ve made, such as graduating from a top school, earning a prestigious title, holding an executive position, running a successful business, etc. For obvious reasons, your career also impacts your social and financial status, as well as your need to compete with other man and achieve goals.
It all comes down to the strong modern-caveman that you are. So here is an eye opening reality that might come as a surprise to many men:
Your high status is attractive to women as much as good looks are attractive to you.
Yup, that’s the truth. Blame it on biology:
For men, a good looking woman represents fertility, good health and good genes that man’s brain is hardwired to look for in order to procreate.
For women, a strong and powerful man represents the ability to protect and provide for her and their future family, that woman’s brain is hardwired to look for in order to WANT to procreate with THAT man.
Tip: Feeling and projecting confidence is the key. You don’t have to have A-listers on your speed dial AND be a Harvard graduate AND own a yacht to feel successful and confident. Even with much more modest success you can still project confidence and appear attractive.
And even if you’re not quite there yet… your status should always be a work in progress, and you will get there. Work with what you’ve got and never lose your confidence because without it it’s “bye bye pretty girls, hello leftovers”.
Now, with all your modern-caveman survival records (aka, your status), you start to score (or lose) some major points for how you treat your girl:
- How desired you make her feel – For a woman, hearing, reading, seeing and feeling anything about your desire for her, how sexy you think she is and how it makes you feel, how hot she looks wearing this, or that, or anything or nothing – is the ultimate turn on.
The more you communicate how much she turns you on – the more attracted to you she will get. You don’t have to do anything but letting her know… hands off… make her want it as much as you do… and Don’t. Ever. Stop. This is Foreplay at its best.
- How special you make her feel -Taking the previous to a whole new level. When she hears, reads, sees and feels that not only you’re attracted to her that much, but she’s also the ONLY WOMAN who can make you feel this way – this is EVERYTHING.
When you make her feel that she’s the only women in the room (even if it’s packed with supermodels… especially then!), that you have eyes only for her, and that beyond her looks you adore everything else about her and you treat her like a goddess – every time you make her feel this way, you make her fall for you a bit harder and want you more.
A woman’s attraction past the initial “evaluation” of your status, is a direct result of how you treat her:
The more desired and special you make her feel, the stronger her attraction to you will grow.
Tip: Don’t ever stop making her feel this way. Ever. Even when you’re already married. With 20 kids. She deeply needs to feel desired and special, and she’s not the only one who needs it – you need it too, to keep fueling her attraction to you! Get it? Making her feel Desired & Special = Sex. Add more to the left of the equation, get more on the right. Gotta love math!
Bottom line: While a man is “designed” to mate with as many good looking women as possible, a woman is “designed” to CHOOSE the BEST man in the group – the one who proves his ability (or at least, his potential) to protect and provide, and who chooses only her over all other good looking women out there, over and over again. And THAT, my friends, is Romance…
That’s why pursuing your girl, in all kinds of romantic acts, sparks and fuels her attraction.