Couple hugging at night |

How This Average Looking Guy Won His Girl

I really believe that almost any man can get almost any woman for a real romantic relationship.

I’m not talking about all those women you just want to have sex with or some girls you want to win just for the challenge. I’m talking about that special girl you’re secretly in love with but she doesn’t see you that way… yet…

Few years ago, my successful, good looking friend Lauren (30) got a great job offer in Seattle.
It was a new place, new people, starting a new chapter in her life in one of her toughest years. She was still recovering from a long abusive relationship that left her heartbroken and emotionally wounded. All alone in a new city, Lauren was trying to make new friends and one night she met this nice guy at a dinner party.

His name was Rob. He was single, he was a doctor, he was sweet, he was funny and he wasn’t her type at all… It was obvious that he was very much into her. Lauren did appreciate the fact that he was very sweet to her and showed lots of interest in her, and the fact that he was a doctor did turn her on a little bit.. but he was average looking, not very tall, a tad bit overweight, and I think she actually used the word “ugly” when she described him…

Rob asked for her phone number and they stayed in touch. She felt very lonely and depressed so she appreciated this new friend who checked on her often, enjoyed listening to her, gave her attention, took her out and showed her around. They shared a passion for shooting pool and conveniently there was a pool table at the building where he lived.

Whenever she came over to play pool at Rob’s building, at the end of the night as she was getting into her car he used to say “text me when you get home. I want to know that you arrived safely” and every time she thought “that is so sweet of him”… She felt that he really cared about her, it made her smile, made her feel safe and less lonely. It moved her every time a bit more. She liked his attention, she liked his sweet and funny Goodnight responses to her “made it home” text.

She told me about that time they were talking on the phone, and he told her some story from his past and just very casually mentioned at the end “um, well, I am a good catch after all…”. That statement kept echoing in her head. She was a bit confused and a bit amused about what made him say that and what does it mean… “Is he a good catch…?”…. she was thinking about it. “Maybe he is….”.

They kept hanging out and having fun, he was cooking for her, kept showing her how much he cared and never attempted anything that could make her feel uncomfortable. He made her feel safe and special and occasionally she found herself thinking about him and the great chemistry they have…

I remember when she told me how great and sweet he is and how confused she was about wanting to want him that way… but couldn’t. I told her that he does sound like a great guy, which is exactly what she needs. “He sounds like someone who can really make you happy, I really think you should give him a chance”, I said.

Few weeks later, Lauren, Rob and a bunch of friends drove to Whistler, BC for a holiday ski vacation. They spent few days and nights together on the slopes and in the beautiful apartment they shared with the group.

There was a fireplace, there was red wine, there were group massages… and there was this girl, Kat. Kat used to work at Rob’s clinic and was pretty much in love with him, but Rob was never interested in her romantically. Lauren knew all about it.
Kat had a little too much to drink and Lauren found herself listening to Kat talking about Rob and about how much she’s into him. Lauren became even more turned on… “I guess he is a good catch after all” she thought. He was now seriously on her mind.

Later that week when they were already back home in Seattle, she decided to tell him how she felt. At the end of another fun night out, while hugging, as they usually did before she drove home, she whispered in his ear:
“I really don’t know what it means… but lately I’ve been thinking about you… a lot…”.
That hug turned into the most passionate romantic kiss. They started dating and fell madly in love with each other.

He did it. He got the girl he wanted, against all odds… here are some highlights that you should take from his story:

Make her feel special

Give her attention… every woman loves and craves attention. Make her a priority, make her feel that you care. Show that you’re genuinely interested in how she feels and what she says.
If she feels lonely and needs an ear and a shoulder, or if she had been burnt by men and have trust issues – it’s even easier. You’ve got an advantage.

Make her feel that you’re interested

Show her that she’s on your mind, give her compliments, make her feel attractive, be persistent…
Making a woman feel desirable by you is a real turn on and it makes her think about you.
However, make sure that everything you say or do doesn’t make her feel uncomfortable, remember to be a gentleman all the way.

Plant a seed in her head

Randomly plant thoughts in her head that she probably never had about you…

The kind of thoughts that put you in a new light that she hasn’t seen you before like as a leader, as a protector, as physically strong, as socially powerful, as financially successful, as a desirable man, as a perfect gentleman, as a one-woman man… anything that instantly makes you more attractive in her mind.

A good story from your past that demonstrates such qualities is a great idea. It is a passive way to show her how great you are, without explicitly complimenting yourself.
If she’s never thought of you as a potential romantic partner, rest assured it’s in her head now…

To sum it all up:

Actively make her feel how great you think SHE is, passively make her feel how great YOU are for her.

Disclaimer: This strategy is not for everybody…

Firstly, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Building that connection, trust and making a woman see a man in a different light doesn’t happen overnight.

Secondly, there are some cases in which it’s probably not going to work:

  • If a girl is immature and is too obsessed with looks. Most likely she doesn’t even care how a hot guy treats her, as long as he’s hot… Such girls got some growing up to do so once you recognize that’s the case you better move on.
  • It should work for the average looking man, will probably be much difficult in extreme cases like way (way) too short, really overweight, etc.
  • Good personality is a must – if you can’t be charming enough from within, if you lack good communication skills, lack confidence or emotionally blocked it will be very hard to pull this off. Positive and outgoing personality is the hottest feature of the average looking guy, without it the described strategy will come across as fake and manipulative.
  • Good chemistry is a must – if the two of you are already great together it will be much easier to trigger her attraction, but if your chemistry if off it’s never gonna work.


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Olivia Gigs

Olivia Gigs

Olivia loves writing about dating & relationship hot topics. Other obsessions: shooting pool, snowboarding, biking, audio books, good coffee, singing-songwriting, guitar playing and Jason Mraz. Read more articles by Olivia

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