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Online Dating: 4 Common Reasons Girls Ignore Your Messages

You start a message with just a plain “Hi”

“Hi” is lame… “Hi” is not personal and it shows no personality. She’s getting a “Hi” from everybody, trust me, and those that start AND end with “Hi” are the worst.

Instead, how about a ‘Good morning/evening’ followed by a genuine & flirty (yet tactful) compliment?

Some great real-life examples:

  • Good morning pretty lady, how was your weekend?
  • Happy Sunday, princess. How are you?
  • Hi beautiful good evening. how are you?
  • Great profile! one of the best I’ve seen here… how are you?
  • You’re pretty ;) how are you?
  • You’re very attractive… how are you?
  • Hi there, you are adorable… how are you doing today?
  • Hello gorgeous, honestly, you’ve got a very cute smile, I’m sure you get that often anyway…
  • Hi.. beautiful smiles and great eyes. I’m Rob and you?

Awww you guys!!

You send your phone number or ask for hers on your first message

Guys, a lady needs some foreplay…! Do not attack. You still haven’t earned a phone call yet (especially when you don’t even know each other’s name)… you need to spark her interest first.

She’s getting tons of hi-how-are-you-here’s-my-number boring ass messages from guys with empty profiles and bare-chested bathroom selfies that don’t really get how attraction works for women.

C’mon, you’re a Gentleman, you can do better than that.

You send a recycled or over-the-top message

Whether it’s the cheesy pickup line you’re sending everyone or an overly-romantic song someone, who’s not you ,wrote for someone, who’s not her (can or cannot be found on Google, a smart girl can tell) comes across as fake fake fake fake fake. A smart girl can sense when “someone” is underestimating her, thinking she’ll fall for empty words.

Just be genuine. Keep it real. If something she wrote in her profile touched you somehow, say it, and not in a general “I loved your profile” or “I liked what I read and what I saw” classic copy-paste crap… Be specific. Personal messages are the best, but don’t overdo it either or it might come across as fake too, and creepy. You don’t actually know her yet, you can’t be touched THAT much…

However, if you must use a recycled pickup line, either cause you have nothing clever to say, or cause you have nothing to lose… this one will make her smile (guaranteed! if she hasn’t heard it before, of course) and might actually work for you:
“Hi princess :) may I step into your world for a little while?”

Just got this one… I died.

You end your message with a statement

Anything like “I just signed up/I’m new here” (O-kay..??) or “I’d love to chat/to hear back from you” (Duh!) are not really engaging her in a conversation…

When you end your message with a question rather than a statement, your chances to get a response are quadrupled, even if she’s still not really into you! I’m not talking about a polite “how are you?” or “how was your day?” kind of generic question, but a more personal one about something you read or saw on her profile.

It feels more personal to her. You’re letting her know this way that you’re one of those who actually read her profile, your message stands out from the others and so do you. If the question is a bit flirty of funny you’ll earn even more credit. Needless(?) to say it should not be a Yes or No question…

Ideas? Ask something about that special hobby, skill, favorite thing or anything about a certain picture of her:

  • “So where do you usually go scuba diving? Have you been to ___?
    It’s my favorite/I’m dying to go”
  • “Gorgeous picture with that red dress… where was it taken? I bet it’s Mexico”
  • “Our dogs should totally meet… what’s your favorite park?”
  • “Another Depeche Mode superfan! I had this great feeling about you, now I know why… how many concerts have you been to?
  • “So… vegan, ha? that’s hot. 100% or have some non-vegan cravings you can’t resist?


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Olivia Gigs

Olivia Gigs

Olivia loves writing about dating & relationship hot topics. Other obsessions: shooting pool, snowboarding, biking, audio books, good coffee, singing-songwriting, guitar playing and Jason Mraz. Read more articles by Olivia

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